The Book

The Mother of All Meltdowns

Every mother, at some point, inevitably becomes her own worst enemy. In a millisecond, her halo crumbles and she has a moment so crazed it is forever known as the one…The Mother of All Meltdowns.

The following anthology was written by women who have had their moments. Together we have experienced the anguish and frustration of the adult-sized tantrum. We have shed the tears, dropped to our knees in agony, and asked the age-old question, “Why me?” From poop-decorated rooms to having our liquid gold scrutinized and confiscated by TSA, we’re not afraid to share our collection of thirty tell-all stories. We are survivalists and know that within every meltdown there is a silver lining.

Order or download your copy today! And let us know what you think!

Publisher: MommiFried Press

What’s in the book?

Thirty Tell-All Stories

Some of today’s hottest bloggers bare all (well, not quite like that) in this eye-opening, mind-blowing anthology. Be prepared to laugh, cry, and have your mouth fall open in disbelief. At times, we are so far from angelic, we make Attila the Hun look like Mother Teresa.

Tips on How to Survive a Meltdown

Mommy meltdowns can run from a mild, fist-clenching moment all the way to epic, crying, screaming, hair pulling (yours, not theirs), only-seen-on-reality-TV moments. Thankfully, there are ways to cope. And not all of them involve alcohol.

The Most Epic Celebrity Meltdowns

This book is chock full of mothering meltdowns that, at the time, probably seemed monumental. We can take comfort, however, in the knowledge that even celebrity moms have meltdowns. Despite their fame, fortune, and ability to hire unlimited nannies and assistants, it seems they frequently misstep just like the rest of us.

And So Much More!

Nosy strangers, pooping in a busy public rest room with the door wide open (and not knowing it), chasing toddlers off of rooftops…it’s all in The Mother of All Meltdowns. Get your copy today!

What causes our meltdowns?

Our Precious Children 99.9%
The Non-Stop Demands of Motherhood 90%
Poop, Pee & Puke (Seriously) 75%
Pregnancy 60%

Chapters: A Sneak Peek!

The Mother of All Meltdowns includes a variety of stories from some of today’s hottest bloggers. The chapter titles really say it all! Take a look at some of what’s included…

Goldilocks to Dreaded Locks

As I was washing Belle’s hair, something seemed strange but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Later, as I was brushing her wet hair, I pulled the comb through her bangs and again, something didn’t seem right. Then it hit me…She had no bangs! The whole middle section of her bangs was gone!

Belle had the most beautiful hair. It was long, blond, and soft. She had cascading curls with full bangs. It was the hair I had always wanted; hair that she would let me put up in different styles constantly. People were always telling her how pretty her hair was. Once a woman had told me that Belle’s hair looked like “an angel itself kissed her”. Now all that was left of the front of her hair was a jagged tuft. To say I handled myself well would be a complete and utter lie. I believe what actually happened was this…

As Poop Would Have It

As I walked into the living room, I noticed the distinct smell of poop. I called out to my son, “Did you poo-poo?” All I heard was giggling. Before I could register that something was up, I felt the wet spot and the squish. I prayed that it wasn’t what it felt like, and that the giggling that I heard in the distance was not my son taking pride in what he had done. As I picked up my foot and saw the poop dripping off, I knew that things were going downhill.

I walked further into the living room to find that the poop on the floor and on my foot were the least of my concerns. The poop was all over the carpet, the TV console, and the sofa, and my son was sitting behind the sofa trying to get poop off of his little Big Wheel ride-on. He was giggling uncontrollably, and I just completely broke down. I sat on the floor, possibly right into the poop I had just stepped in, and cried.

Welcome to Lego Stress Land

Then I picked it up. Why? Why? Why? OH, WHY ON EARTH WOULD I PICK IT UP? I still ask myself that. I should have known better than to touch it. In the same way that promiscuous teens in horror movies should know better than to go wandering into creepy houses…at night…alone. But I’d wanted to take a closer look; to admire my son’s handiwork. And, of course, you can see where this is going.

Almost instantly, a piece fell out of the middle. Oops. I tried shoving it back. It wouldn’t connect. That wasn’t good. I tried to force it into place. No go. Crap. It fit before, why wouldn’t it fit now? As I struggled, more pieces came off in my hands. Shit! Oh, this really, really wasn’t good. I started to panic as Fletcher, suddenly at my side, realized his once-whole Lego bomber was falling to pieces in my hands.

I’m Not Pregnant, I’m Fat

We rode in silence to the mall, but once I got a little food in me I started feeling less embarrassed and angrier. It’s like each delicious bite of my burrito was turning all of those negative thoughts into rage. I mean honestly, what woman makes a pregnancy comment to another woman like that? That’s like Girl 101. Unless a woman explicitly tells you that she’s pregnant or you physically see the baby coming out of her, you keep your mouth shut. Everybody knows that. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Who was this woman to make me feel bad about myself? Why does society expect women to bounce back into fighting shape after having a baby? Because the latest celebrity did? Maybe I don’t go for regular runs, because I’d rather take a nap after pacing the floors with a crying baby all night. Maybe I pick up fast food more than I should because I’d rather give my oldest daughter a little one-on-one attention than cooking in the kitchen.

I had just reached my mental breaking point and I could feel my blood begin to boil. I was on the brink of a full-fledged mommy meltdown.

No Mother is Perfect

What does it mean to be a mother who is embracing her imperfection?  Sometimes it means embracing the meltdown.  Sometimes it means embracing our failures.  Sometimes it means that we acknowledge that our best just wasn’t good enough today.

The good news is that in motherhood we get to start all over tomorrow and try to do better all over again.  The bad news is we get to start all over tomorrow and try to do better all over again.

The Mother of All Meltdowns is encouraging you, challenging you, hopefully inspiring you to send us your biggest imperfect moments as a mom!  Tweet us, post on Facebook, or Instagram using the hashtags #nomotherisperfect and #embraceuniquity!  We would LOVE to share your stories to inspire, encourage and hopefully inspire other mothers out there!

We want to pay it forward, we want to pay it backward, we want to hold your hands and sing Kumbaya!  Okay that last part may have been going too far…yeah?  Yeah, we thought so!  But you get our point, right?  Ready?  Set?  Embrace Uniquity!

P.S. Stay tuned for more exciting news as our Mother’s Day Campaign gears up to launch on April 1st!

10 Ways Expecting Mothers Can Start a New Business

No, you are not insane for wanting to start a business while pregnant. It does not matter if you are heavily pregnant or due next month. There is always a way.

Here are 10 ways you can start a new business while expecting.

  • Do Your Research

You may be thinking that people are in need of the product or service you will be offering. However, you cannot know for sure until you conduct a market research.

  • Write a Business Plan to Suit Your Schedule

Apart from writing a business plan that will suit your future “busy mom” schedule, it should also be a custom plan that will suit the model of your business. Hiring business plan writers can make things easier for you.

  • Do Not Waste Time Waiting

Think of what you can manage to do at present based on the stage of your pregnancy because you will have less time as a nursing mother.

  • Do Not Rush Things

As much as you would not want to engage in some activities before delivery, you need to take things easy with work. Slow and steady wins the race.

  • Consider Crowdfunding

It is difficult for women to get funding from investors or traditional lenders such as banks than men. Instead, you can try crowdfunding as a source of raising capital. Applications are made with ease since it all happens online. Two examples of such sites are GoFundMe and Kickstarter.

  • Think of “Baby” Ideas

As an expecting mother, you can think about business ideas related to products and services for babies, nursing moms, and expectant moms. Your experience can inspire you to nurse an idea for a venture.

  • Plan for Your Baby’s Care

If you are starting a new business, the care of your baby while you are busy with work should be put into consideration. Think about nannies, daycare centers, and so on.

  • What to Do As an Aspiring Solopreneur

Being a solopreneur means that you are handling the tasks on your own. Still, you should consider can hiring people to perform some tasks for the meantime—especially when you start nursing your child. They do not have to work with you in your office space. They can be working from any location in the world.

  • Consider a Partnership

This may be the best decision you can make as an expecting mother trying to start a business. A partner will share the workload with you, and may handle most of it if he or she is not as “occupied” as you are. A female partner who has experience handling a business as an expecting or nursing mother should be preferred.

  • Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Apart from outsourcing some duties, you can also seek the help of your significant other, family members, and friends in handling some tasks.

Your pregnancy does not have to disrupt your life and the dreams you are trying to realize. Rather, you should be motivated to disrupt the industry you are targeting. You can be a super mom!

Have a safe delivery.

Some Inspirational Stories Which Portray Moms As Superheroes

I think that it is time that we give our mothers the appreciation and the admiration that they deserve. I also wish to emphasize the importance and also the pivotal role that mothers play in our lives. They actually pose as the rock of the house that you would want to hold onto when you are in the middle of the ocean. She is the one that offers you all kinds of wisdom and also tells you what to do when you are making choices in your life. There is actually no perfect way to show that you are a good mother. One of the best ways to be a part of your kids’ lives and if you want them to confide in you, you will have to be their friend first. You have to listen to all the little stuff now because if you don’t, there is a possibility that they may not tell you the big stuff later on.

In this guide, I will actually be listing out some instances where mothers proved to be a superhero to their children.

  • “My mother worked two jobs while raising two sons who needed shoes for football and tuxedos to prom and also she provided us with everything that we needed when we were children. She was a single mom and even to this day, if you ask her, she will tell you that she never regrets any of it. She was very happy raising us on her own, and she says that she is very proud of herself and us as well. I will now do everything in my ability to make sure she leads a comfortable life.”
  • “The incredible woman beat cancer when she was in her thirties itself. She used to work extra hours even then because sometimes she would not be able to pay rent. Pregnancy was actually not too easy for her; my father says that she never even once complained about it. She was graceful through the whole thing. She has now gotten over her health issues, and she is now a picture of health and strength. All of us in the family actually look up to her.

  • My mother was actually really committed to the family, and she made sure that she quit a job that she loved for 18 years so that she could be there when we got home; she actually put her passion on hold for so long. Now all of us are nudging her to pursue her passion.
  • I am inspired by my mother because she takes care for 5 people every day and she has never wavered.